Okay… so I was going to write about how I didn’t win the RNA prize today (it went to the very lovely Freya North) and how hard it was to wear my gracious loser face when I was wearing my new too-high boots and they had given me blisters EVEN BEFORE I GOT OFF THE TRAIN, and about the very many very lovely RNA ladies who said they loved Silver Bay, and made me feel pretty happy about being shortlisted at all…

… but having bought a copy of OK magazine on the way home (Silver Bay is reviewed in its Hot Stars section) I was diverted by this little exchange, with Z-listed married couple Michelle and Andy Scott-Lee:

“OK: Has (Michelle’s friend Jordan) spoken out about how she feels before (plastic) surgery?

Michelle: I suppose she gets nervous like everyone else… If I had the means to do it I’d get stuff done as well but, my God, I’d be proper pooping it beforehand.

OK: Katie has also talked about getting a designer vagina

Michelle: I’d rather not comment on it…otherwise it’s me talking about Katie all the time.

OK: Are you and Andy thinking about babies?

Michelle: God, we had a fright when I thought I was pregnant about three weeks ago, but I’m on my period now, so I’m not.”

Ah… the elegance of Jane Austen. The grace and restraint of Elizabeth Gaskell. It’s easy to get snarky about the supposed coarsening of modern culture. But it’s something when you start hankering after Waynetta Slob as a step up…